Sorrow vs. Fear

Being the math geek that I am, I wanted to title the blog "Sorrow does not equal fear" ... using the mathematical symbol for not equal...but since I'm not an internet geek, I couldn't figure out how to do that.  So, that was the idea I was trying to get across.  Moving on...

For the longest time I've equated sorrow/grief with fear.  That is, in (correctly) believing that I do not have to live in (unhealthy, non-divine) fear, I've (incorrectly) assumed that my sorrow and grief will go away too.  As soon as these emotions come back, I deduce that I am again living in fear and try to correct my thinking/feeling to rid myself of these unpleasant emotions.  This can continue as a vicious cycle.  So, in order to think about this properly, first a biblical look at fear and love:

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.  There is no fear in love.  Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  I John 4:16-18.

Click here for a great, brief, explanation as to why the word "all" isn't in this translation.

Here, the greek for fear is 'phobos' - interpreted as terror, or 'panic flight'.  It comes from another greek word 'phebomai' - which means 'to be put to flight.'

Reflecting on what fear actually is helps me see that it's very different from pain, sorrow, or grief.   Furthermore, experiencing this misinterpretation of emotions, I see more clearly how love drives out fear and what it drives it out of / away from.


What's really happening here is that love is fully confronting and embracing (not annihilating) sorrow and grief.
True love hurts terribly.  But when this fear (of pain, grief, sorrow) is driven out, peace abides.  Peace is not the absence of our sorrow or pain.  Peace does not remove these feelings from our lives.  If anything, peace comes only secondarily to our heightened sense of these emotions' existences.  True peace is unattainable without first recognizing our difficult state of affairs.  It is not our naivety or ignorance of impending disaster.  It's the full recognition of its looming presence...its continued existence, and ability to all but destroy us.  It's our realization that anything in us that can be destroyed is not necessary for our existence...and the further understanding that the very essence of us which cannot be destroyed is what God holds...and this is impervious to the evil in this world because God protects this part of us - the us that He created.

This leads to the beauty of redemption...God's specialty.  The joy of redemption is impossible without the agony of rejection (think Peter).  This is why love hurts.  Because it is strong...strong enough to withstand pain and sorrow.  If love is self-protecting, it isn't perfect love (I Cor 13:5 - "it is not self-seeking), because fear has not been driven out of it.  Sorrow must not be avoided since perfect love casts out all fear and we attempt to avoid sorrow out of fear.

Christ already passed this test of fear.  He did his part.  The challenge now is of us to trust.  I believe that if we are really trusting, we do not have fear.  So our love towards Christ is oftentimes just a reflection of our trust in Him...allowing Him to love us - and perfect us - in His time.

This in turn leads to us loving others - without fear of pain, sorrow, or rejection...and we can do this since we trust that God's love is enough for us.  

-The one who fears is not made perfect in love.